Rewards

Considering the fact that I see food as some sort of 'reward' either because I had a hard day, or because I had a good day, or for any excuse I could make really, I've decided to implement a reward system to keep me going on my diet:

I set 5 goals for the next 5 months, now I'm going to set 5 rewards I'd like to get during my weight loss:
When I reach:

- 85kg go on a romantic date with my husband.
- 80kg buy a new pair of trousers to wear to work
- 75kg buy a new pair of jeans
- 70kg take a short trip somewhere
- 64kg buy as many new clothes as I like as long as I keep within a USD 2,000 budget (am saving up during diet)

That 40 day mark...

So I'm close to my 40th day of dieting... (today is actually the 45th). My sister studie bioengineering and she had warned me that when you reach around 40 days of dieting your body really starts to put up a fight and hold on to your fat and weight. When she told me this, I just said "humm really" and wasn't at all concerned after all counting calories seeme do be getting easier and easier.  

Some days went by...

I've reached the 40 day mark (and passed it a bit). My body makes me want to eat things I shouldn't. It makes calorie counting sound stupid, I've hit a plateau... in other words, this  body of mine is doing EVERYTHING it can to hold on and gain back the weight I've lost. 

I've been keeping on track, but haven't began to improve the quality of my diet yet. As long as I stay on track with calorie counting this week, I'll be happy. 

"Dear Body, 

Please understand this weight has to go 'bye-bye' for your own sake. You haven't been very healthy lately and losing some of this extra padding might help you get better. Then i'll be able to exercise more and make you feel and look better. Please stop holding on to this stupid weight and stop tricking me into eating things I shouldn't. Would it kill you to crave fruit and veggies instead of cheeseburgers and chips and chocolate? 

Please consider my request... 

Love,

Me."

My 5 goals for the next 5 months

Mar -  Go to a nutritionist and get my BMR tested so that I can eat the proper no. of calories
Apr -  Start swimming
May -  Have a completely presentable apartment so that I can invite guests over
Jun -   Cut sodas completely from my diet, even diet ones
Jul -    Have saved enough money to travel during my holidays

Get past that plateau, girl!

Now that I'm passed the initial shock of not having lost again, I managed to do some brainstorming with hubby. He's been with me through it all, the highs, the lows, and he knows how much I have improved my diet and lifestyle. 

I've decided to not got carb-free, but rather give my diet an overhaul. I have been sticking to my purpose of not eating more than 1,360 calories a day, but now I'm going to improve what I put in my body with these calories here's my straightforward plan:

• Do 20 mins cardio 5 days a week. Hubby took out my elliptical trainer for me. 
• Remove foods that impact my blood sugar & insulin levels, i.e. change white bread for whole grain, eat fruit with protein, cut sugar out completely, even if my calorie allowance permits its added calories.
• Cut caffeine for best adrenal function
• Include 5 minutes of breathing & relaxation exercises into my day to decrease stress.
• Sleep at least 7 hours per night (have been sleeping around 4-5), which really can affect weight loss. 
• Read a book on low GI (Glicemic index) dieting, to learn more about it. 

I might not be able to do all of this in a single week, ok, I won't, so I'm giving myself a deadline to have included all the items above in my lifestyle: March 31st, 2012. 

One thing I'm really happy about is that two months ago, if I had hit a plateau for 3 weeks in a row, I'd go berserk and stuff myself with food and think: "It's not working, why bother", but this time around I only feel more determined to make it work after all the efforts I've made so far and because I really want to get my weight loss reward (will describe it in another post).  

Frustrated

Do you know what is worse than stepping on the scales and seeing that you're weighing too  much? Stepping on the scales after 3 weeks of calorie counting and seeing that you've, not only hit a plateau, but also gained. 

Weigh-in Stats:

Start weight (Jan 16, 2012) = 95.5

Last Weigh-in (Feb 11, 2012) = 89.5

Current weight (Feb, 26, 2012) = 90.0

How does that make me feel?

- Frustrated

- Angry

- Self-doubt

I don't know if all the weight I lost was from or an effect from carb counting ( I was on the atkins diet before I started carb counting). Or maybe all I lost was just fluid... I don't know. I really feel like kicking calorie counting to the curb and go back to carb counting as that is the only thing that seems to work for me. 

:-( 

Saw this on Facebook today

10 things I love about me

Let's be clear, I'm not doing this because I think I'm the best... it's part of a weight loss challenge... and I bet this is going to be REALLY hard!

1. I love what I chose to do for a living, not necessarily my current job, but I love my profession.
2. I like the shape of my lips.
3. I like that I am a loyal friend, or at least try my best to be one.
4. I like the fact that I know my way around computers, not in a hacker sort of way, but I do know more than most people at work and am proud of that.
5. I like my feet and toes (ok, this is wierd, but true, they're cute)...
6. I like the fact that even when I gain weight I gain it proportionally. 
7. I like knowing that when I love people I let them know. 
8. I love being a pet lover, I couldn't imagine how my life would be if I weren't. 
9. I like the way that I drive. both automatic and regular cars, it's silly but I like it
10. Most of all, this is a new found love, I love the fact that for once I've been sticking to something I start: this diet! 

Wow.. I managed! =D 

Metamorphosis

I've been trying to decide whether to weigh this weekend or not. I'm in a 'pre-period' phase and that changes my weight and size quite a bit as I retain massive amounts of fluid, this line of thought has lead to others.

I am asking myself why I am so afraid of weighing myself now. I used to weigh 3-4 times a day (or more over the weekend) and it was all just very frustrating as your weight tends to fluctuate a lot during a day. Because of a challenge put up by a dear friend and weight loss pal I am now able to weigh only once a week, on Sundays, of course I feel curious and want to step on the scales at other times, but the thought of letting her down is normally enough to stop me from weighing on other days.

Anyway, not being allowed to weigh myself compulsively has been making me find things withing me I didn't know were there, feelings, fears and things I still can't wrap my mind around.

When I first started calorie counting I thought it was going to be the end of the world, that I was going to crave everything and feel hungry all the time... I really thought it would be impossible.
Now that I've been doing it for a while it is easier than I anticipated, it's still hard, but somehow I feel as if unnamed forces of the universe owe me in pounds lost for my calorie counting 'efforts'.


Each day I realize that this calorie counting/diet journey intertwines all aspects of my life more than I had ever  imagined, my physical, emotional and mental aspects are all affected by this journey.

This is how I see it:

Before weight loss: I don't really know what I am, but I feel tied up in this cocoon of prejudicial ideas related to my body image. I feel ugly on the outside, thus unaware of my inside and true self.

During:  Things get uglier still, I feel like an emotional mess, but somehow this journey is helping me find me. 

After: This is how I hope to be afterwards. Even if my outside does not reflect this, I want my self image to be like this:

Just for fun...

Dear Mosquitoes, 

Please start feeding on fat instead of blood.

All the best,

Me

What a better day to blog on a weight loss blog than "Mardi Gras" (Fat Tuesday).

I went to the beach over Carnaval and to do so I had to buy two swimming suits. No more bikinis for me... I decided I wouldn't let my weight keep me from going to the beach and having fun.

I tried not to compare myself to the skinny girls in their cute bikinis and tried to think of myself positively, but that is really hard.

With my short hair with a little bald spot and my huge belly (which got huger at the beach because of fluid retention) I felt like this:

It's really hard to feel cute and feminine when you're so big, and with short short hair.

Every time I ate something or drank a cup of soda, even if I was taking it into account in my calorie counting I felt as if I was "the fat girl drinking yet another soda, or eating a huge bowl of ice cream" (mind you, I never had a huge bowl of ice cream since I started calorie counting).

All in all, my feelings at the beach were:

-- I wish I could just disappear, so nobody could see me. 

-- Walking on the beach, i felt like a stranded whale.

-- I had difficulty sitting in the beach chair as my hips were a tad bit wider than the chair and I got stuck when I was trying to get up and fell on my hands and knees.

-- I feel 'unloveable'.

-- I don't feel like I'm a girl.

-- The feeling of the inner part of my thighs rubbing together was really unpleasant and it made me have to wear bermudas to be able to walk in, therefore I was left with a funny tan. 

Well, at least instead of resorting to food, this has only strengthened my resolution:

-- Next year I want  to look and feel more like this: 

Do or do not, there is no try..,

I'm a 26-year-old young woman trying to battle off the excess weight that has bothered her for all her life.

Well... that's not the whole story. I haven't always been overweight, but I saw myself as being overweight until I finally got here.

I suppose this is the third weight loss blog I start. But the difference is, this time I've started a weight loss diet, and I've stuck to it for almost one month (great first step for me! I never get past the 2 first weeks), and I am actually losing weight this time around.

I have promised myself this is the last time I start a diet, because I am going to lose this weight AND keep it off for good.

My special somebody once quoted this line when I was talking about trying another diet: "Do or do not, there is no try".

I think that this diet, more than weight loss, which is great, has been helping tap into aspects of myself that I had no idea about. The fact that I am managing to stay on track (or close enough some days) is creating a great sense of acomplishment, something I've never really felt before, as I've always felt like such a failure for not sticking to things I decide to do.

So. My start stats are:

Height: 1.73 meters

Start Weight (SW): 95.5 kg - January 16 , 2012.

Current Weight (CW): 89.5 kg - February 11, 2010.

Goal Weight (GW): 64.0 kg - December 31, 2012. 

Diet I'm following: I can eat a bit of everything, but I have to count the calories (1360 per day). I have allowed myself one day 'off' to attend to cravings yet still keep on the diet wagon.