Atkins Diet

I must confess I wasn't able to do the "Fast Metabolism Diet". It is just too complicated and where I live I don't have access to a lot of foods that would make the diet doable.

I couldn't stand my weight anymore. After seeing myself in a home video I was sort of hoping the earth would open up and swallow me whole. It didn't. So I decided to take some action.

It's so hard to start a diet. So far it's been harder to start than to stay on it. I feel as if I have to gather up willpower for a long time so that I can finally do something.

I'm on Atkins. It's old, but it works. It's relatively simple. I'm on the "Induction" phase, which allows me to eat 20 net grams of carbohydrates each day. So far I've been a good girl and eaten 20 or a bit less (18, 19) and the results are showing!!!

Pre-diet weight Nov. 25, 2013:                        89,5kg
Weight after 6 days on the diet Dec. 2, 3014:    85,6kg

I'm so happy with the results, it hasn't even been a week. I'm aware that most of the weight loss was actually from water weight and not fat itself, but still, I feel and I think I look a lot better. My clothes are more comfortable, and my confidence is a lot better.

I hope the weight continues to come off!

The Fast Metabolism Diet

I only bought this book because Amazon recommended it, I had never heard of the diet or the book but the idea of losing up to 20 pounds in 28 days sounded too good to be true, but I'm a diet book junkie so I bought it.

I like the idea of the diet, and I especially like the positive tone the author uses throughout her book, she really makes you believe that if you follow it to a tee you'll shift the weight and improve your health and speed up a sluggish metabolism.

For who has done Atkins and the Dukan Diet, Haylie's diet seems quite doable.

It's divided into 3 phases:

Phase 1 - 2 days -
High in Low Glycemic Carbs, Moderate Lean Protein, No fat
Exercise: At least 1 day of Cardio (30-40 mins)

Phase 2 - 2 days -
Loads of Low Glycemic Veggies, High Protein, No fat or carbs
Exercise: At least 1 day of Weight training

Phase 3 -  3 days -
Lots of good fats, Moderate LG Carbs, Moderate Lean Protein
Exercise: At least 1 day of Yoga, Relaxation, Deep Breathing or Massage


The idea is confusing the body in order to shift excess weight. It also promises to heal sluggish metabolisms which have been harmed by excessive dieting and overall crappy food.

 Diet Do's and Dont's:

Do's:

1. Eat 5 times a day
2. You must eat every 3-4 hours, except when you are sleeping
3. You must eat within 30 mintues of waking every day
4. You must stay on the plan for the full 28 days
5. You must stick to the foods allowed in your current phase
6. You must follow the phases in order
7. You must drink half of your body weight in ounces of water every day (this helps flushing out toxins stored in fat cells)
8. Eat organic whenever possible (this is going to be hard as organic food is not so easy to find in Brazil, and it is VERY expensive)
9. Meats must be nitrate-free
10. Exercise according to your phase

Dont's:

1. No Wheat (I don't actually mind this much)
2. No Corn 
3. No dairy (I will miss cheese)
4. No soy (no problem, hate the thing!)
5. No refined sugar (*shurg* Yeah, sort of expected this)
6. No caffeine (I'm not minding having to stop drinking my beloved diet coke so much, but I'm really afraid of the withdrawal)
7. No alcohol (No problem here)
8. No dried fruit or fruit juices (I'll miss the option of having some juice now and then)
9. No artificial sweeteners
10. No fat-free or "diet" food

I don't know if I'm still feeling super positive from reading the success stories or if the author's style of writing just keeps you really excited about a really difficult-to-follow diet, but if it works and I do in fact lose 10 kg in 28 days I think I'll be on a constant weight loss high!

It took me almost one year to lose that amount of weight, now I have 28,2 kg to go until my ideal goal weight.

Well I'm working on my meal charts and shopping lists! I'd like to start tomorrow but I don't think that will be possible as I have no Phase 1 foods in, (unless I eat brown rice for breakfast - Weird!)

I'm back!

A lot has happened since my last post. I lost most of my hair again, I had to have surgery on my left wrist which made it really hard to type. Almost a year later and I can't type much more than I could right after the operation. But I'm about to embark on a new weight loss journey and I would like to keep a record of my success (Yes, I'm positive about this) which might possibly help other people.

Since the last time I logged in my weight shifted a bit:

My weight on: (when I seriously decided it was time to lose weight)

Jan 21, 2012:  95.0 kg

My current weight:
May 4, 2013: 86.2 kg

My Final Goal Weight: 58kg(-28.2kg)

So yes, that means losing 28.2 Kg! Agh! I'd rather not think about how much that means right now, but to be honest if I get to 62 Kg I'll be really happy (that's the best weight I've had as an adult, so if I could just reach it I'd be ecstatic).

My small weight loss goals and their rewards:

1) 78 kg (- 8.2kg) It's out of the 80s and I'll be really happy when I reach this small goal, plus a lot of my clothes will start fitting me really well again.
Reward: New, smaller, pair of jeans

2) 74 kg (- 12.2kg) When I hit this smaller goal (it's a small difference from goal 1) but that means I'll reach my 'healthy BMI' I don't really believe much in this whole BMI thing but it's a guideline and I'd like to reach this number and have it as a stepping stone.

3) 68kg (- 18,2 kg) This is the weight I was when I got married. Yes I did lose 15 kg before the wedding on the South Beach Diet. After I got married a LOT happened and I gained a lot of weight, my thyroid went crazy, I started losing my hair, I had loads of trouble with my job and I was taking Propanolol for migraines which I found out stalls your metabolism. And of course, I started cooking and I really wanted to please my hubby so I tried to only make delicious meals which involved loads of carbs, fat, and sugar.

4) 64 kg (- 22,2kg) This is close to the lowest weight I've ever had, but I'd rather be realistic and add more WL goals the closer I get to my objective because let's be honest, the closer you get , the harder it is to lose weight.
Reward: I think the weight itself will be a  reward!

5) 62kg (- 24,2 kg) This is the lowest  weight I can remember having as an adult. I've recently seen a picture in which I weighed this and I am impressed at how silly I was. I thought I was so fat when in fact I was so close to my dream body. I did have hyperthyroidism at the time, but I truly believe that now that I'm on the proper thyroid meds I can reach this weight again.

And finally - Drumroll.....

6) 58kg (- 28,2kg) I've never weighed this little, but it has been my goal weight since forever. I don't know why this is my magical number, maybe it's because what the Gym trainer told me when I was 17 and used to go to the gym everyday, maybe it's because what doctors always told me I should weigh, maybe it's because I saw a picture of an actress who is my height and weighs that. I know these are ridiculous reasons, but this is my magical number and it's not unhealthy so I will stick to it (as apparently not even 10 years can erase it from my mind.) if I'm going to lose weight, I don't want to stop 4 kg shy of my goal when it's so close. If I'm going to go through a gruelingly hard diet, I might as well do it all the way. Perhaps accepting that this is my goal weight will actually help me stick to my diet instead of conforming to a higher number on my scale. Of course if I reach 62 kg and am very happy with how I look, I'll stop, but I don't really think I can stop until I reach my "Magic Number".

SB Day 1

Brekkie - none, woke up at 11:30
Lunch - 1 grilled chicken breast + broccoli
2:30 pm - feeling hungry

What I looked like at the wedding

I'm posting this here as a reminder about WHY I have to lose weight. 

Thoughts on weight (excess and loss)

I was quite happy to step on the scales 4 weeks after 'giving up' my diet and see that I had lost a bit, and got back to my lowest weight recorded this year (89.9 kg), even though, I don't feel much thinner or lighter, strangely I feel even larger.

My sister in law (SIL) got married this weekend and I was one of the bridesmaids. When I started dieting in January I was sort of hoping I'd be down to 84 kg or so by the wedding, unfortunately I was still around 89.9. Which was quite dissapointing. My dress fit me well and I was feeling well. Got nice makeup done by a makeup artist and managed to fill my hair in with Dermmatch and styled it at home (as much as my micro hair allows...)

I put on one of those 'Spanx'-like shorts and was feeling quite tonned and with a nice shape... UNTIL... I saw a photo of me.

My pixie haircut made my head look like a pin head stuck into a huge styrofoam ball. I will delete my face out of the picture and post it here later. I saw the pic and instantly felt sad. No wonder I've been instinctively shying away from cameras.  I was, and still am, in shock.  I look like I feel. Fat fat fat fat fat.

I can't stand this anymore. I can't find clothes that fit me and even my face, which people still used to compliment me on (I hate it when people say you have a nice face. To me it sounds like:" you are fat, but you still have a nice face, it's the only thing I can compliment you on.") well, the face now looks like a round plate with tiny eyes, nose and mouth on it.

I can't stand this anymore. I don't care if I starve to death or go bald again. I'm taking an attitude, I just can't stand to feel this way anymore, inadequate, like I don't belong in the world, and hating myself during every minute of everyday. I wish I could accept myself this way, but I simply cannot love myself this way. I feel as if everything bad, every person who treats me badly does so because of how I look, I know rationally this is not true, but in my heart I feel this way.

I know many people who are overweight and are still beautiful and lovely people but somehow I can't look at myself that way. I judge myself and I feel others judging me too.

My mother gave me a sugar-free 100 gram chocolate bar for Easter.
The lady who borrowed me the dress for the wedding asked me if I had lost weight or else- I wouldn't fit in the dress...
My 11-year-old niece told me my bra was too tight (got a muffin top), on a different occasion she also told me that even though I was fat she still loved me.

These things hurt, and the most hurtful part is that I'm unable to love myself.

i cant write much... but this sums it up

Fork in the road

I went to the supermarket yesterday, and it was a real challenge deciding what to put in my trolley. 

I was trying to decide between banning gluten and dairy from my diet or maybe cutting all carbs, and this and that. The truth is, I'm starting to get a little desperate to see the changes I've made show on the scales and on my body. 

All the diet books I've read have messed with my mind a bit as their ideas clash a bit. 

So I decided to try and figure out for myself what works for me, what sort of diet helps me lose weight and keep healthy and nourished (I have vitamin deficiencies).

I bought lots of veggies, lean cuts of meat, lots of natural seasonings (garlic, onions, parsley), I avoided artificial preservatives as much as possible. 

In the end I left the supermarket with ingredients to make a veggie chicken soup (which I will freeze in small portions for when I don't feel like cooking dinner). Lean meat which was already chopped, which I'll use for an oriental-style stir fry, minus the pasta. I got ready chopped and washed veggies for the stirfry. 

Washed and bagged salad (watercress, lettuce, carrots), one roasted chicken which I ate last night for dinner (not the whole chicken! I just had a bit of breast, LOL).

I got lots of lean cuts of beef and chicken, which I seasoned myself when I got home with a natural marinade the onions, garlic, etc etc 

I'm proud because there were no highly processed, salty and preservative laden foods in my cart. 

I didn't get any fruit at the supermarket as they weren't too fresh, I'd rather get them near home at the fresh food market. 

Making that change

My first "big deadline" is arriving. My sister-in-law's wedding. I'll be her maid of honour and will have to wear a pretty long dress and feel good as I'll be in lots of pictures. I wanted to feel better about myself and more confident. I don't care if it's not my goal weight yet (as that is impossible) but ever since I started dieting in January I've been focusing on this "1st goal". 

My goal weight for the 5th of May (day of the wedding) was 82 kg. I'm currently at 90.6 so losing 8 kg by the wedding is pretty much impossible. 

I've been working as hard as I can on my diet and I feel as if I've improved my intake of food by leaps and bounds. In only 3 months I changed menus completely:

My old breakfast:

Potato or Cheese bread (processed)

600 ml of diet coke

Snack: 2-5 sessame cream crackers

Lunch:

Chips

Beef/chicken

Salad w. mayo.

Snack: Medium-sized bar of chocolate (40gr + -) sometimes more

Dinner: Nothing, or Pizza, or Sphihas, White bread w. ham and cheese...

But that's what I ate before I started getting serious about losing weight. 

My current diet:

Breakfast: 2 portions of fruit (on weekends, when I'm at home)

or 

2 slices of gluten free bread (not processed, no preservatives etc.)

a little bit of butter, low fat cream cheese or unsweetened jam

fresh juice (orange, strawberry, lime - depends on the day)

Snack: Fruit or nuts/seeds

Lunch: Mixed veggies, salad, olive oil and balsamic vinager as dressing, 

Snack: Fruit or nuts/seeds

Dinner:  Salad + protein, or wholegrain rice cakes with cottage cheese + some fruit. Sometimes, very seldom now, pizza (not processed). 

So on one hand, I haven't lost any weight since I started calorie counting (all the weight I lost was on the Atkins diet), but writing down what I eat everyday has helped me be more aware about the quality of the food I've been eating (and of course, the calories). 

Now I think: Ok, I can eat 1,360 calories worth of chocolate! Woo hoo! Then look at that, that's like two bars of chocolate. Will that keep me going all day? NO! So I've definetly included more fruit, nuts and healthy oils in my diet and feel as if overall I'm making better choices. Of course, some days I'll change a healthy choice for something I'm craving, but its not happening all the time anymore. 

Saw this today...

This is your life

Diet/Health Books I'm reading/read

*****(must read)
***(good ideas, but not all doable
** (one or two good concepts)
*(don't waste your money!) 


Books I have finished:

1. The Dukan Diet **
2. Slim for Life ***
3. Low Gi - Belly Fat Diet *
4. The Flat Belly Diet ***
5. Tudo posso mas nem tudo me convém (Portuguese Only) ***
6. The New Atkins for the New You ***
7. The Waterfall Diet **

Books I am currently reading:

1. The Paleo Diet (have read too little to tell)
2. Master Your Metabolism (so far *****)

Books I've started reading but haven't finished yet:

1. Anticancer a new way of life ***** (so far)
2. Why do I still have thyroid symptoms? *** 

Books I bought but haven't started reading yet:

1. Feeling Fat, Fuzzy and Frazzled? 

One day!

One day without coca-cola zero! Its little but its a victory already. 

One day without Gluten either! 

Studies: Why Diet Sodas Are No Benefit to Dieters

By MEREDITH MELNICK | @meredithcm | June 29, 2011 

GETTY IMAGES

More bad news, diet soda drinkers: data presented recently at the American Diabetes Association’s (ADA) Scientific Sessions suggest that diet drinks may actually contribute to weight gain and that the artificial sweeteners in them could potentially contribute Type 2 diabetes.

In one study, researchers from the School of Medicine at The University of Texas Health Science Center San Antonio, looked at aggregate data from 474 older adults in the San Antonio Longitudinal Study of Aging, or SALSA. At the time of enrollment and at three follow-up exams thereafter, all participants reported their diet soda intake and were measured for height, weight and waist circumference. The researchers wanted to track any association between diet soda drinking and body fat over time.

What they found was that all participants saw their waistlines expand, but those who reported drinking diet soda had 70% greater increases in waistline growth than non-drinkers 9.5 years later. Among frequent drinkers — those who consumed two or more diet sodas a day — waistline growth was 500% greater than among non-drinkers. Researchers said their results were adjusted for other contributing factors like diabetes status, leisure-time physical activity level and age.

The data didn’t say why diet sodas might play a role in weight gain, but previous research suggests it has to do with the disconnect between the taste of artificial sugars and their lack of calories. The brain is wired to expect a big load of calories when foods taste sweet or fatty. But because diet foods fail to deliver, it throws the brain out of whack. Studies in animals suggest that artificial sweetener consumption may lead to even more eating and weight gain, perhaps in part because it triggers the body to start storing more calories as fat.

Excess weight, especially around the belly, as measured in the SALSA participants, is a risk factor for a variety of ills, including cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

In another study presented at the ADA meeting, researchers found an association between consumption of aspartame, an artificial sweetener found in many diet drinks, and elevated fasting glucose levels in mice.

The researchers, also from the School of Medicine at The University of Texas Health Science Center San Antonio, fed 40 mice their typical chow with added corn oil (to make the diet high-fat). For the half the mice, researchers also added aspartame to their food. After three months, researchers found that the mice in the aspartame group had elevated fasting glucose levels, an indication of a diabetic or pre-diabetic condition.

Of course, the findings aren’t directly translatable to humans, but the researchers think they’re still meaningful. “These results suggest that heavy aspartame exposure might potentially directly contribute to increased blood glucose levels, and thus contribute to the associations observed between diet soda consumption and the risk of diabetes in humans,” said Dr. Gabriel Fernandes, a University of Texas professor of rheumatology and clinical immunology, in a statement.

Maybe it’s time to switch to water.

Source: http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/29/studies-why-diet-sodas-are-no-boon-to-dieters/#ixzz1qL8MzYK2

Things I have learnt about myself

1. I am stronger than I thought I was.
2. I find it hard to stick to my resolutions.
3. My family/childhood affects me today in a negative way more than I wish it did.
4. My body tells me what it needs. If I crave orange juice it's probably when I'm ingesting too little vitamin C, I just have to be careful with sugar cravings hehe I don't really need that.
5. I found that by sticking to a diet, well at least the calories, I have been more committed to everything else in my life. I've scheduled tests I had to schedule, I've paid bills that were piling up, and its all sort of 'accidental', as in, I don't plan it ahead of time, so in a way I found that gaining some control over one aspect of my life, helps all others. 

Ooopsies

This is how this week went:

 

I fell of the wagon, and it was FUN! LOL

The fun bit: I got to eat whatever I wanted without being completely irresponsible. I never went over 1650 kcals, so it wasn't sooooo bad.

The unfun bit: I know I won't have lost, might have gained... thats NOT fun. 

Unfun bit 2: I have to come up with a new diet plan, that works.

It's kind of ironic as this week I read TWO diet books... 

Ok, I'll take it slow

Trying to make a lifetime of eating wrong into the perfect eating habits from one day to the next has proven to be a bit more difficult than anticipated.

So I'm changing my 'resolutions':

Things I'll quit:
- Fried food
- Gluten
- Added salt
- Sodas
- Artificial sweetners

Things I'll eat in moderation:
- Sugar
- Dairy

 

So far, so good

So far I have eaten:

- No gluten
- No dairy
- No fried food
- No added sugar
- No sweetners.

LOL, it seems easier to NOT eat than to avoid all these things.

What I had for breakfast:

- A slice of pineapple (it was delicious, it was SO sweet)
- A chunk of watermelo
- Some fruit salad made with Kiwi, Pineapple, Apple and Paw Paw
- Orange and Acerola Berry juice (Acerolas are rich in vitamin C and antioxidants, they are quite sour, but I did not add sugar or sweetner)

How I feel right now:

Like a million bucks and SO proud I managed one meal within my self-imposed plan.

I don't plan on going without dairy for long, my idea is cutting it for a month or so and then see if I can at least add cheese back as I really enjoy it.

A little plus that made my day: A boy stopped me today to say I was pretty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I lost a pound for each 'last chocolate' or 'just this time'...

 

I've been feeling guilty about my diet for these past few weeks. I feel that now that I'm comfortable calorie counting its really time to improve what is in the calories I eat. Sure, I can have 1,400 cals a day worth of chocolate, it's still 1,400 calories, but is it really?

My health is far from being the best around, so I really feel I have to take good care of it, starting, NOW. I don't want to wait until Monday or something, because that never works, I always think "This will be the last chocolate I ever eat"... haha if I lost a pound for each 'last chocolate' I ate or when I think "just this once"...

So, as of now I no longer:

- Eat sugar

- Eat wheat

- Eat fried food

- Drink Coca-cola zero (or any other soda)

- Consume artificial sweetners

- Add salt to my food, no  matter how tempting it is

- No longer have days "off" my diet, EXCEPT for situations I cannot control (e.g. weddings, birthday parties, etc) even so, I will force myself to make the healthiest choices available.

I read this in a book, "Would you have a little bit of poison every day? No? So why do you eat a little bit of poison everyday?"

I am convinced that gluten does not agree with me.

As for the sugar, my insulin is all over the place and I am insulin resistant, and I actually feel sick when I eat sugar now.

Artificial sweeteners are made of pure chemicals, so is my beloved coca-cola. 

Why am I fat?

Since I've started calorie counting all these emotions have surfaced. At first I couldn't make sense of it all but now the pieces are slowly falling into place. 

How it all started:

Little me was born... Skinny and 'tall'. I was so skinny my grandma says that if you held my hands up to the light you could see they were kind of transparent. 

Little me enjoyed breastfeeding, in one month's time I was already above my expected weight. But I suppose that's OK for babies as they grow so much.

Ok, then its moving on to REAL food. 

My mom was VERY controlling over portion sizes and food types. I strongly suspect she dealt with an ED in the past and still has some traits of that ingrained in her personality. An example of this is at school, all my friends took a whole packet of cookies for their snack. I was only allowed two cookies. One for myself, one for a friend, of course the prohibition made me eat both myself, as I knew I'd get none at home.  

I suppose I have also always been sort of greedy (when it comes to food). I've always looked at the largest potato, or the juiciest tomato, etc. I never really acted on it because I'd be scolded for not thinking of others, but I must admit I really did want the biggest portion, always. 

As I child I wasn't fat, but I thought I was.  The thing is, I have always thought I was fat. I got bullied and picked on at school, and I overheard my mom speaking to my aunt and saying that it was because I was fat. So this became part of me. In my head ME = FAT, OTHER KIDS = SKINNY, ME = BAD, OTHER KIDS = GOOD soon Fat = bad, skinny = good. 

Because of this perceived fatness I felt out at school and with my family, as all my cousins were (and still are) very lean. My personality has never really fit in with what has been expected from me also. I've always been (and probably always will be) compared to my cousins in ways that I can never 'compete', not that I want to, but I did at one point. 

I remember being 5 years old and feeling guilty for eating an ice lolly!!! 

Ever since I can remember, and this sounds awful, but it's true, I've wanted to lose weight. 

From the 2 - 5th grade I dealt with a hard time at home. 

My dad lost his job, we had no money, and despite being young I really felt that, as I needed a new uniform for school and my parents couldn't afford it and things like that. Dad got a job, and a lover at his new job, and I was the 'lucky' one to find out. Fancy telling your mom that your dad has a girlfriend?!?!?! That really messed with me. Now I can understand my behavior at the time. 

I did something I'm still ashamed of. I stole some of my moms meal coupons (my dad got them from his job) and I used them to buy M&Ms at school. Of course I'd eat them during class, which was forbidden. I remember eating a lot of M&Ms, I can't really say if it was that much or if I perceived it to be a lot as all my portions were always so controlled. 

One day my mom noticed some coupons were missing and she was about to fire the cleaning lady when I came clean to her. 

I felt guilty as hell doing what I did, I still feel a bit guilty to this day, but I'm able to rationalize it now. I was desperate for attention and I was comfort eating. It's funny because to this day if I'm under stress I crave food I can pick at like M&Ms, popcorn, crisps... even chopped carrots (did the test once) its picking at food that soothes me more than the food itself. It's kind of creepy but I'll put it all in a specific order, by colour, or size or whatever I can come up with, but this just happens when I'm at my breaking point. 

Pre-teens and Teens: 

When I got to the 6th grade I changed schools, and it was GREAT! For the first time in my life I had friends and I was actually happy at school. I actually found a picture of me during this period and I was really slim. OF course, I still felt fat and didn't fit in with the cool 'thin' crowd. 

Now I see that its more that I didn't know how to dress and style my hair and stuff like that. My mom has never been a girly girl, so I didn't learn these things. Gosh... I remember going to a party once, and I wore a Goofy T-Shirt (3 sizes too large for me!), jeans and sneakers (my feet were so big at this time the kids said I had TitaNikes, not sneakers)... 

Well, If I had dressed more like the other girls (jeans, cute top, shoes) I might have felt less "left out" still, it was a good time of my life.

It was around this phase that I started stuffing myself with food when my mom wasn't home. Then I felt guilty about it, so I tried to vomit, but it happens that I don't really have a gag reflex, and I can't make myself vomit. Which was very frustrating. So I started chewing and spitting food (junk food, never real food, the real food I swallowed)

High School: Right before I started high-school my doctor told me to lose some weight, my parents offered me 10 quid for every kilo I lost. I lost 10 kg. 

High school was TERRIBLE. If I though that bullying in primary school was bad, I had no idea what awaited me in High School.

Somebody spread a rumor that I was a lesbian, and I was left friendless for all 3 years.

I developed autoimmune thyroid problems it took doctors FOREVER to figure it out. During this phase I gained a lot of weight, and then lost it all. I remember losing 5 kg in two weeks... without doing anything different. Instead of investigating what was going on, my doctor congratulated me on my weight loss and that was that. 

Then I gained all the weight back and a bit more.

And that was my life for a while, lose, gain, lose, gain, lose gain. See, I was going into hypothyroid then hyper in a never-ending cycle, and there was no way of controlling the weight.

Pre-college: This was my thinnest phase ever. I was wearing size 38 jeans -- UTOPIA!!! (before that it was around 40-42). 

I had a boyfriend (who I ended up marrying hehe) and I got admitted into college. 

College: When doing college I continued to live with my parents, but I was over 18, and felt "Free" and "Independent" and could do all that my parents forbade... I discovered this store that sold sweets near university and I really did overdo the chocolate for a couple of months, but then I got a part-time job and started walking a lot and I ended up actually losing some weight, I was also very happy so I didn't really crave food in particular. I continued thin, and for once in my life I knew it and I felt great. 

Then all hell broke loose. I developed endometriosis, and with it terrible diarrhea, and vomiting and I went for 15 days a month without being able to eat, living on Coca-cola and Gatorade. This went on for a long time until I was given surgery and put on the pill to keep me from having periods. Then the weight problems got real.

I started gaining non-stop, right after the operation. I tried to diet, I tried going to the gym, swimming, everything, but I now imagine that the combo Days and days without eating + pill really messed up my metabolism.

Marriage: Before getting married, I went on the South Beach diet, Still under my mother's watchful eye, I manged to lose 15 kg pre wedding, but I came back from my honeymoon weighing an extra 2 kg. 

I didn't really know how to cook, I didn't have gas (I forgot to call the gas company and have it installed...LOL) and we ate  a lot of junk and microwaveable food for the first weeks after our wedding.

It was during this period also that I started losing my hair. I read that harsh diets could do that so I decided I'd start eating more, but silly me started eating ALL the wrong foods.

That was the beginning of the end. 

I stated piling on pounds, I wanted to make yummy food for my hubby to show what I good wife I was. One day my hubby pointed out that I was eating more than he was, and then reality hit me. 

Well, now, here I am. 3 years later (post wedding) trying desperately to shift this weight, but so far, in almost 3 months of dieting I've only lost 5 kg, of which 1 I regained. 

I do feel sort of doomed regarding my body and body image.

In a nutshell: I always saw myself as being fat, even though I wasn't. A better body image would have helped me avoid what I'm going through, but at least I know I'll appreciate my body more when I'm able to lose even the slightest bit of weight.