Mini victories and one mini setback

So last week I didn't have the energy to write here... I've been coming from a few weeks of intense work, both at work and freelance stuff I do when I get home. I was exhausted!!!

1- I'd like to share and register my mini-victory: Last week, I managed to get back close to my lowest weight since Dec. 2011!!! 89.9 kg, I was so happy I was literally jumping up and down all over the place!
2- This Friday I was able to get into a pair of jeans one size smaller than what I was wearing and they were COMFY and fit me perfectly!!! =D From size 48 to size 46 OOOOOHHHH YEAH!!!!

 

After today's weigh in I was a bit disappointed, 91.1 (at first I thought, oh only 100 grams more.. that's fine) then I got my maths straight 1.2 kg actually... so that's kind of disappointing, but it's TTOTM, and hopefully next week this will all be over and I'll be weighing even less than 89.9 (fingers crossed!!) 

What doesn't kill you...

My diet

I've decided to start a 100% personalized diet...

Phase 1 - March 7 - to April 7

 - Eat between 1200 and 1400 calories a day, excluding the following food from my diet:

• Carbs (Except for those in veggies).
• Sweetner, as possible.
• Diet sodas
• Decrease sodium as possible
• Remove processed food from my diet as possible
• Eat at least 12-15 grams of net carbs from greens and veggies. 
• 160 mins of cardio per week 

Phase II - April 7 - Until I reach 64 kg

• Do all of the above, and introduce one portion of fruit always with fiber or protein to reduce blood sugar impact. If I continue to lose, I'll continue adding fruit until I reach 2-3 portions a day.
• Include regular strength training to boost my sluggish metabolism.

Phase III - After I reach my goal weight, for the next 2 years (to let my body get used to its new weight and consolidate the weight loss). 

• Find the maximum level of carbs + calories I can eat to maintain the weight I managed to achieve. 

Phase IV - Ongoing life maintenance. 

• Eat Low GI for the rest of my life. 
• Include one 'treat' meal per week. 

Weight gain, fluid retention and diet deamons...

Another week, no loss... A bit of gain so on and so forth.

I'm starting to get very frustrated by all of this and have decided to look back and adjust my strategy, as this one is obviously not working.

This morning I woke up so swollen all over I couldn't even close my hand in a fist.

I have come to a few conclusions:

        I.            There are 'diet gods' and 'diet devils'     The 'devils' and their little evil deamons get out at night when you are seeping, and they do evil things:

a) they get salt and water and inject them under your skin so that you wake up swollen.

b) they also inject you with sugar so that you gain weight.

c) they take your clothes out of the closet and tighten them so you think you are gaining even more.

 

True! I swear that's what's happening to me! 

Get that heart pumping!

Less than an hour ago I wrote about how shitty I felt (sorry, excuse my language, but that's how I was feeling.)
I tried to lie down for a few minutes, but I just felt worse. 


What I was really craving wasn't rest, apparently I needed some endorphin and to get some frustration out of my system: to get  my heart pumping fast...I turned on some nice music, and filled a bottle up with raspberry flavored green tea...
Got up on my Elliptical trainer and got my legs pumping as fast and hard as I could. Never got my heart monitor beeping so fast haha. 


Recommended workout cd: Evanscence by Evanescence. It's upbeat, and has a slower song now and then, and trust me, when the slower songs come on you're ready to take it easier. 


Now I'm sweating like a hog, lobster faced and out of breath but I haven't felt this good in a long time. BTW, that headache is gone. 

Breaking down

Broken, shattered. 

My hands can no longer work. 

My mind is too tired to think.

My eyes, too, have tired to blink.

All I want to do is lie down and sleep. 

Enter into a world of slumber 

and into a dream world or wonder.

I need a break from work

I need a break from life.

I need a break from being me.

I need a break from judgement.
 I need a break from opinions.

I need a break from people.

I need a break from thinking.

I need two weeks at the beach

or maybe on the top of a mountain,

drink water from a life fountain

I'd like to lie down in a field of flowers

Stay there for many hours, 

doing nothing at all.

I need a break from hurt

I need a break from pain

I need to start living life again.

Broken, shattered. That's how I feel.

Falling off the wagon, NOT!

This week has been COMPLICATED! I've felt hungry, satisfied, ravenous... and everything in between. The good thing is that I went through a very anxiety-laden week and was able to stay away from emotional eating.

I did feel at a point (on Wednesday, when I had a terrible day at work) as if I were losing my marbles... that if I didn't eat 1360 kcals the world would come to a bitter end, and so on and so forth.

In the end it all worked out, I had a little cry about it, ranted a bit, and am back to my 'usual' self, whatever that is.

So this is how the week went calorie-wise:

Sunday: 20 kcals over
Monday: 196 kcals under 
Tuesday: 398 kcals over 
Wednesday: 12 kcals over
Thursday: 217 kcals under
Friday: Goodness knows! Will try to eat 1340 cals.
Saturday: Will behave
Sunday: My day off, BBQ at my Uncle's house! =D Yum!

That means that all in all... I was 17 calories over what I should eat this week, not bad at all! I can assure you, I had a lot more fun haha.  I think I'm going to start thinking of calories more like a weekly goal than as a daily goal. It gets too stressfull, then therere are those days you feel more or less hungry... I was ravenous yesterday. I felt like a lion who hadn't fed in months, and today I was 'unhungry'.

Didn't really fall of the wagon, but the picture is cute...

So, my new goal is to have 10,000 calories a week, that's 1360 x 7 + 500 kcals for my 'day off'. Maybe this will keep my body guessing what's coming next and get me off this plateau.

So far this week I've felt no changes in my body. I am retaining loads of fluid and feel as if my legs are about to explode. The weather is unbearable hot, which doesn't help either. 

When it comes to exercise.. hummm haven't been meeting my goals... I did exercise one day this week (in addition to the usual 15 min walk home)... but I'm too tired and too busy to exercise more as I'm working on a big freelance project. Will try to squeeze in 20  mins, tomorrow, on Saturday and Sunday. (BTW, I consider my diet week to begin, of course, on Mondays).