I went to the beach over Carnaval and to do so I had to buy two swimming suits. No more bikinis for me... I decided I wouldn't let my weight keep me from going to the beach and having fun.
I tried not to compare myself to the skinny girls in their cute bikinis and tried to think of myself positively, but that is really hard.
With my short hair with a little bald spot and my huge belly (which got huger at the beach because of fluid retention) I felt like this:
It's really hard to feel cute and feminine when you're so big, and with short short hair.
Every time I ate something or drank a cup of soda, even if I was taking it into account in my calorie counting I felt as if I was "the fat girl drinking yet another soda, or eating a huge bowl of ice cream" (mind you, I never had a huge bowl of ice cream since I started calorie counting).
Every time I ate something or drank a cup of soda, even if I was taking it into account in my calorie counting I felt as if I was "the fat girl drinking yet another soda, or eating a huge bowl of ice cream" (mind you, I never had a huge bowl of ice cream since I started calorie counting).
All in all, my feelings at the beach were:
-- I wish I could just disappear, so nobody could see me.
-- Walking on the beach, i felt like a stranded whale.
-- I had difficulty sitting in the beach chair as my hips were a tad bit wider than the chair and I got stuck when I was trying to get up and fell on my hands and knees.
-- I feel 'unloveable'.
-- I don't feel like I'm a girl.
-- The feeling of the inner part of my thighs rubbing together was really unpleasant and it made me have to wear bermudas to be able to walk in, therefore I was left with a funny tan.
Well, at least instead of resorting to food, this has only strengthened my resolution:
-- Next year I want to look and feel more like this:
OMG, I didn't read this till just now! You should check out my latest blog post LOL! About the chub rub!!
ResponderExcluirAnyway, I can completely relate to the whole fat with short hair and feeling unfeminine. I really struggle with that too.